Across the Beaten Path

So, I've been doing a lot of traveling lately, and there are a few things I've noticed.

First, flying is a pain, but I've already covered this. But what I want to know is, is flying a pain for terrorists? Besides the knowledge that the plane will explode at their own hands, which is unfortunate, with the amount of attempts they make, they have to come across the same delays the rest of us do. And whether you intend to land safely, or cause widespread panic, any delay might prove to be frustrating.

So here's my idea: Whenever the FBI, CIA, U.S. Marshals or whoever predicts a terrorist is going to blow up a plane, I don't think they should arrest him. They should certainly stop him, but not arrest him. First you have him board the plane, along with everyone else to make him think everything is fine. Then you have him sit on the tarmac for two hours. To try and alleviate any inconvenience, the plane plays one episode of "Joey" really loud over and over again. Then have all the passengers get off the plane, back into the terminal, including the terrorist. Conveniently manage it so the terrorist is sitting in the terminal somewhat isolated from everyone else. Then have someone in a clown suit come by and make balloon animals, right next to him. Try to sell him some. Then have two kids come by screaming about whatever, without any parental guidance. Preferably one of these kids should be dressed up in an American Flag. Then have someone dressed up as Muhammad walk by him, just to see if he reacts. Regardless of any reaction, have another person come up to the Muhammad lookalike dressed up as Uncle Sam. They should get into a verbal altercation until Uncle Sam pulls out two American Flags and wave them around. Then Muhammad should run away like a coward. If the terrorist ever tries to get up to move away, just have an officer come by and tell him he has to remain there due to a security threat.

Do everything you can think of to annoy the bastard. Because terrorists expect to die, or expect to get caught. But they don't expect for the ever loving piss to be annoyed out of them. We're at war with the assholes, we might as well have some fun with it.