They Treasure the Ginger Ale

I remember as a kid I loved to travel. I still do. But as a kid I loved every part of traveling, especially the airplane part, where you sped up real fast, felt your stomach go into your feet and watched the ground get smaller. As spoiled as I already was, everyone in the family would yield the window seat to me. I wouldn't sleep. I would just stare out the window most of the trip, but time went by like I was dreaming.

Now airline travel sucks. And its not because I'm older. I still enjoy that takeoff and landing just as much as I did when I was little. No, I'm afraid the world of aviation is likely going the way of the Hindenburg. I've flown to Atlanta several times in my life, for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, we got fed. That's right, they gave me food. And not just me, but everyone. If you were on that plane, you were going to be fed. After all it was a four and a half to a five hour flight and people might get hungry.

I caught a connection from Atlanta to Portland. No food. They gave me peanuts, which I don't like (and I thought that was stopped due to the peanut allergy). Seriously? No Food? No odd tasting, reheated meat loaf? No spaghetti noodle like carrots? No bread with ice butter? What in the hell is wrong with the airlines? I want my damn food, especially on a five hour flight. There are laws in states where if people work for more than five hours, they must be given a lunch break. Shouldn't the same apply to passengers when they're confined to a metallic cylinder filled with 200-300 other people for hours at time?

Whenever you get off the plane, you have the whole flight crew up at the front, waving good bye and saying, 'Thanks for flying with us.' If you really want to thank me for flying your shitty airline, give me some damn food.

Oh, and one more thing; When we land and they pipe in over the PA system "On behalf of Starvation Airlines we'd like to welcome you to (insert city)." I don't think they can do that, as much as they might like to. There is no way they can welcome me to a place that they themselves have just arrived at. It defies the rules of language and etiquette.

I'm starting to be less impressed with these airports as well. They do have food, so they have that going for them. But when I got off the plane, I was waiting to be picked up. The traffic outside was packed. Which wasn't surprising considering it was July 5th, but it was at a standstill. Not one car in either of the pickup lanes was moving. Because they weren't picking people up, they were waiting to pick people up. Which I thought was illegal. Maybe I misread those "No Parking" signs. My ride couldn't even merge in to get close to me. I decided to head out into the middle of the free moving traffic, load up my bags and myself and get out. It was more efficient and was less aggravating for me.

Where were the traffic cops? Shouldn't they be blowing whistles and gesticulating like they took a course on where they learned those moves? When picking my dad up from the airport on business trips cops would always tell us to move on and come around again. Today it seems they don't even need that "return to terminal" route.

And please no one tell me that the airports can't afford traffic cops. I walk in some airports that have art pieces more impressive than some museums. Why are there art pieces in airports? It's not like people are flying from all over the world to see the magnificent Lewis and Clark tile map at the Portland Airport. How much did that cost? How many traffic cops could have told all those annoying drivers outside the terminal to "get moving"?

Airports should be like Costco. Just a giant warehouse where people come in, via foot or airplane, find where they need to go and get out. It's efficient, saves money and it doesn't give me a false idea of what the city I'm in is all about.

Airports need to stop giving impressions and start ferrying people on their oblivious little way.