This is not to Code

I was watching CSI: Miami the other day, thoroughly not enjoying it, and paying particular attention to how rigid and robotic David Caruso is. Whether it is his character, or his acting ability, it needs to be undone. He makes the show painful. Until I started imagining that David Caruso's character was a robot from the future, sent back to help solve crimes. And it was amazing how well it all fit. The show became much better after I made that fictional leap.

CSI: Las Vegas is really the only decent one out there, and it needs to be canceled at this point. No Gus Grissom? It's like an Indiana Jones without an Indiana Jones or a Bond film without James Bond. It will never be the same. The same goes for Law and Order. That shit needs to stop.

But since I have no doubt CBS and NBC are going to do nothing but continue these overdone series, I have a few suggestions for new Law and Order shows. I have a suggestions for new CSI shows as well, but all you have to do is blindly place your finger on a map and see what city you're closest to. New ideas for Law and Order shows are below:

Law & Order: WWII (World War II)
Law & Order: WWJD (What Would Jesus Decide)
Law & Order: IS! (In Space!)

And I will end with the space idea, because when a producer runs out of ideas, all they do is put whatever preexisting situation people are watching and puts it in space. That's what NBC should have done with ER. Can you imagine chasing a heart in zero G in the middle of a transplant and the doctors only have minutes to save some poor space janitor's life? That's great television.

Now go back to watching TV. You have no idea how much crap you missed by reading me.