Perhaps Ox Power?

Horses really are quite beautiful, and powerful, animals. Whenever I get near one I can just imagine the destructive force that thing could deliver. And it seems to follow naturally that it occurred to someone thousands of years ago, that you could ride one. Horses have been tremendously useful and quite influential in our history. Imagine battles without cavalry, cowboys and Indians without horses, and let's not forget about Incitatus, the first horse to be considered a Roman Consul. At least we hope he was the first horse for that, and the last for that matter.

But there's one thing that sticks out that seems a bit odd to me. Do we really have to measure how powerful our engines are in horsepower? Isn't that just a bit redundant? I could see how back in the day it was relevant. I could see a car salesman saying, "Yeah, you got yerself a horse alright, but how about 22 horses? Ya got that? This thingamabob is equal to 22 horses, and ya don't even need to feed it!" Great sales pitch. If this was 1910.

But it is now 2010 (almost 2011). My Honda Civic has 198 horsepower. I'm really glad to know that if I strapped nearly 200 horses to the front of my car, I could save on gas and go just as fast. I hope people are beginning to see what I'm getting at. It's a useless measurement, and yet we keep using it. And it is so prevalent. Even NASA scientists still use it. Do we really need to know that the main engines of the space shuttle had 37 million horsepower? Has anyone ever seen 37 million horses at one time? What does this prove? I guess I can imagine strapping 37 million horses into a giant rubber band so I could go to space, but that's a lot of truck fulls of hay, not to mention all the horseshit. My launchpad would consist of nothing but manure. The sheer mechanics of all this is mind boggling. So why do we do it? Isn't there some other system we could come up with? How about Model T's? Or my car? Can't we just take 200 horsepower and call it 1 Car? It's a pretty even ratio. Not too hard to figure out. Easier than converting miles to kilometers.

Thingamabob is actually a word?

The Tide of My Fingers

As I'm home for awhile it's time for me to get back into the blogging habit of mine.

Now that it is the holidays I'm waiting to hear of two things: One is someone gets trampled to death because it was their life long dream to die while being the very first in a store at 6am. The second is to hear the words "war on Christmas." I'm not sure what war this is. As far as I'm aware it is simply people exercising their constitutional right for religious freedom. If Christians don't like people advocating against Christmas Trees and Santas being in department stores, then I would suggest they move to a country that does not have religious freedom. Like China. I'm sure they'll see all the Christmas trees they want while there. Or maybe not. Maybe if they want to see Christmas trees in public places, they should go to Rockefeller Center. There's a big one there.

And if someone is going to push the dilemma on me "What if the tree in Rockefeller Center was wanting to be taken down." My response to that would be if the Supreme Court deemed a tree there was unconstitutional, so be it. But for those Christians who just can't celebrate and be merry without having a tree everywhere, don't worry. The Supreme Court would never make such a liberal decision.

I'm quite tired of these commercials polluting the airwaves, taking Christmas songs that are already stuck in my head and substituting their own cheesy lyrics. "We Dish you a Merry Christmas." "Happy Honda Days." Really? Since these companies are wanting to be so clever with advertising, I've some ideas of my own.

"Do you beer what I beer?" Budweiser.
"Jingle Bells." Trojan condoms. No rewrite needed.
"Frosty the Bank Man" Chase or Bank of America foreclosing houses.
"Wreck the Halls" Any restoration/remodel company.

That's just a few, but you get the idea.

I'm told it's dinner time. That might make some of you hungry.

Blogful for the Thanks

I've been away, it is by no means Monday, a hundred things I meant to write on here but the access was not accessable.

While at the airport (a while ago at this point) I was waiting for my flight and I saw something that just barely pushed me over the edge with raising children. I saw a child attached to a lenthy nylon cord for several feet and at the other end was an incompetent adult's hand. This person has chosen that leashing their child is the only way to keep their kid from running around, scraping their knees and getting lost. Things all children should have the oppurtunity to do. This is essentially no different than treating your child like a pet in my opinion. Was this guy going to pick up his child's poop as well? This kid was probably around 5 or 6. Well within the mental capabilities to understand "sit down" or "stay here" without a leash.

I mentioned this to my wife and she defended this person's choice. She indicated the logistical nightmare of losing your child at an airport. Not only have you lost your child, but there are a thousand people around, with a thousand places they could be at and you have a flight to catch. I easily brushed that aside. "Getting lost at an airport just builds great character." I claimed. "Just look at my oldest brother. He got lost at an airport and now he's getting his PhD."
Living proof defeats theory in debate for me. Law defeats theory. And theory defeats made up stuff like religion. This is the hierarchy of debate. It works.

I would love to write some more, but I can't think of anything to say, despite all the times over the last few weeks where I thought, 'I should blog about that.'

Did I say Happy Thanksgiving? Yeah, that too.

Forensics have a clue

I've done a lot of traveling on the road lately, and I am going to share the things that I have seen. I will warn you though, if you are offended by things easily, such as images displayed in classrooms depicting anatomy of nude, faceless individuals, I would urge you to read this and eat lunch at a Hooters.

Shredded tires. I'm not really sure what to say about this. Either the roads here in Montana are unbearable on tires, or the tires are made with the thickness of rubber bands. My tires are fine, therefore I vote for the latter.

Pinecones. Stupid pinecones, you're never going to sprout there.

A fox. An odd and somewhat unsafe place to sleep. The red goo by your gut looked nice and warm though.

Rivets. When I drive over you, my car makes that ppprrrrrrrrffffffff sound. I like that sound.

Oil cans. That person must have really needed to change their oil in a jiffy. I would recommend Jiffy Lube. Otherwise that would be false advertising.

A hitchiker. You are worth 60 points. You've been warned.

Did I mention I was in Montana? Big state. Big sky. I always thought that was horseshit. But that's why I came here. I can think whatever I want, but I'll only know if I see it for myself. The sky here is indescribable. We have mountains in Washington, but they block the sky. It's rude. Here there seems to be an endless field stretching on, but before it hits the horizon a mountain rises. It is the full effect of a mountain view while seeing an enourmous amount of sky. Even while driving it seems like an ocean I'll drive into, or will something that will eventually envelope the road.

But I'm getting off the mentality of my blog. Or am I? This thing is so unknown and yet evolving, like our nation's political system. We'll never figure it out.

Realm of Unknown Ideas

Bienvenidos!

Para Español es mucho gusto de ocho hablamos.

Sorry. This damn spanish keyboard is acting up on me again. I don´t even know what it just had me type. I´m in Mexico, in case you don´t follow my other blog. But why wouldn´t you follow that? It´s full of fun, happiness, quirky stories and all round good will. This, this. . .online drivel interprets a darker chapter of a larger world.

I´m reading a book right now. That does happen from time to time. It is by far one of the most, if not the most, difficult book I´ve read. I wish I could say it was Gravity´s Rainbow, but alas it is not. This book does not seem to follow the rules of grammer I was taught as a child. I´m used to paragraphs being about one topic, one subject, not five subjects involving fifteen characters. Chapters would be nice to have as well, but those come and go as randomly as aforementioned grammatical rules do. I don´t even know if what I´m reading constitutes as English. Maybe a pigeon english. But I get by, understand a word here and there. It´s getting better.

I´m curious to know what the crime rate in Mexico is. That is non drug related crime rate, which may not be measurable. There are numerous cops here in Tulum, and the reason for the number I can only assume, is to make white people like me feel safe. Unfortunately, I´m too paranoid and untrusting to feel that way, but I´m sure it works for the other tourists, who have their hotel safes broken into. But these cops, I really don´t know what they do. They stand around, maybe eye you as you drive by. You´ll think one of them wants to pull you over, but really he´s just driving around with his lights flashing, perhaps to boost the color spectrum here in Tulum.

If you don´t know where Tulum, Mexico is, I would advise you to look at a map. I´ve always been a big proponent of looking at maps, figuring out where exactly you are. I prefer paper maps, but if you must, google maps will suffice. At least the image isn´t distorted on that. If you don´t know where Mexico is, I would advise you to read...anything. I don´t care if it´s a pamplet about Hooters. You need to grab something and stimulate that pink tissue inside your skull.

I´m sweating. Either this typing stuff is grueling work for me, or the temperature here is rising. I think it´s the typing, so I´ll stop now. Maybe it won´t be three weeks before I do this again.

Relentless and Unrelated

There is a commercial out right now that is about the joining of M&M's to a pretzel. I perceive this commercial as nothing more than an amusing anecdote about two characters not being happy about one being put inside another. However, my wife sees it as a homosexual innuendo. She claims that both characters are male. I usually don't attribute genders to snacks, but both do speak with male voices. She also pointed out that neither character is happy about this "joining." I told her in a world where bigotry and un-acceptance of minorities is increasingly looked down upon, I would be surprised if the Mars corporation would knowingly and deliberately place a commercial on the airwaves with homophobic messages. She then teased me by asking if I thought M&M's could not be homosexual. My only response was "Well, I sometimes eat reds with reds." We both laughed and never continued the topic.

I'm really not sure if that commercial is supposed to be an innuendo or not, but if it is, then, like I said, I'm surprised.

I'm just glad we now live in a world where we can openly question the sexuality of an M&M. This would've never have happened in the 1950's.

What Else for a Monday?

Out of ten different levels of difficulty, I am a natural champion of chess at level two on the computer. I hope to change this with a newly found amount of time at my disposal, and a book which supposedly teaches one how to be a better chess player.

Although I have gathered a wealth of information from the book I'm reading, applying my newly obtained knowledge has yet to show itself to a great level of observation. I continue to make ridiculous mistakes, like placing my Queen at the cross hairs of two Rooks. What was I thinking? Probably something along the lines of, "if those two Rooks weren't there, that would've been an awesome move!"

It's a tough book to read though. I've never had to multitask while reading a book. You can't learn the concepts of what the book is discussing unless you're following along with a chessboard. It's handy to have a computer with chess on it as resetting and undoing are done with the click of a button.

Any way, in time my skills will be amazing, as will my idiotic mistakes.

I heard someone died today after driving their segway off a cliff. I'm not sure if this was a suicide, or someone thought they had an updated flying version of a segway, which does not exist. I give this individual points for creativity, but dock him points for stupidity. After the tally, I see him no different in my eyes than before I heard the story.

Yes, I give points to people for their spectacular deaths. Cold? Maybe. But I learn from their failures. Or maybe I don't. It would never occur to me to be a good idea to drive a segway off a cliff.

Now I must go and pour some gasoline down my chimney to get ready for the winter.

I Would State the Obvious

One thing I have noticed about Food Network is that is doesn't really teach or show you how to cook. At least not entirely. You can certainly get a pretty good damn certainty about things and you might be able to impress your parents or your dog if cooking is not something that's a high priority in your life. What Food Network does, I think, is show who good cooks are and who bad cooks are. For example, Sandra Lee is a terrible cook.

Rachel Ray is an Oprah wannabe. Just an Oprah with food. She can't start a show called "Rachel's Vacation" put it on the air and say that is her vacation. She's working. It's not a vacation. Also she doesn't have to bore me any more by showing me these great places she's visiting and touring because she's so successful with her crappy cooking.

Someone who cooks is Alton Brown. Not only does he cook, but explains the scientific processes involved on why it tastes good. That's like having a science teacher who knows science and explains it, instead of just reading from the book and when asked, "Why?" they retort, "We'll get to that later."

As far as Anthony Bourdain, I'm pretty sure I watch him just to see if he is going to sleep with some random local. I still have to figure out why he has a disclaimer before his show. Are people who watch Food Network overly sensitive? Can they not take some gruff, older cook who detests some of the younger generation polluting his field of art?

Ina Garten can cook, but I get really tired of her walks and her friends and that garden of vegetables.

Bobby Flay. Flay? Really? That's his last name? I can't stand him. He sticks to traditional styles and loses to every competition he is in on his show. How come I can't have a show off this format?

That Hot Italian girl. That's it. I just watch her. I have no memory of what she has prepared or cooked. I remember once she licked chocolate off her fingers. That was a good episode.

Julia Child most certainly can cook but she appears to be a disaster waiting to happen, like everything is going to crash to the floor and she'll use her kitchen towel to clean everything up and throw it in the oven.

It's almost Tuesday, that was close.

Flash of Credentials

I'm not sure how much I have today.

With my my wisdom teeth removal I was graced with a prescription of Vicodin. Although I feel no pain and the buzzed feeling I get is certainly appreciated, it leaves my mind mostly empty. Although it won't say so on the bottle, I'm confident a severe side effect is playing Chess like a little girl plays with her doll house. Although I've barely written one paragraph, I've already made several mistakes.

And to think I've gone to work on this stuff. The amount I accomplished while there was impressive now that I'm reflecting upon my present state.

Don't worry, there was no driving while on Vicodin. I either took it after I got to work or after I got home. Just to suppress all the fears of those worrywarts out there.

Since Colleen and I have both had our wisdom teeth removed, the narcotics that are in our possession is the most I think either one of us have ever had. The profit value isn't nearly enough to run the risk of getting caught, so we'll most likely take it to Europe with us as a precaution. If someone sprains an ankle some Vicodin would come in handy.

I usually don't blog about work and I won't go into specifics, but for those of you who work with me, I've made a haiku to commemorate this event.

You Have Been Beat Out
Infantile Behavior
You Are Dead To Me

And with the Vicodin, I've got nothing left.

A Likeness of Differences

On my birthday I heard of a practice, or lack there of, that certain religions, or maybe just a cult of an even larger cult does not celebrate birthdays. I had to ask why. It seemed silly to me that in a world where birthdays are practically universally celebrated a certain group would choose not to do that. I was told because it was a celebration, or acknowledgment, of someone lesser than God. That's fine. As I don't believe in God, I don't really have to worry about such trifle matters. But to those who do believe in God, more specifically those who choose not to acknowledge beings before God, I think those folks are going about that practice in the wrong way.

They have a good start. But if celebrating a birthday is blasphemous because it recognizes someone before God, these people might as well go all the way with that belief. They should be just absolute complete pricks about it. They should not even say "Hello" to people upon seeing them as that is an acknowledgment, or greeting, of a being other than God. They should just pass silently through our "lesser" world, ignore us, go to church and die. It would make my life easier as they wouldn't try to convert me, or even have me be aware of their delusional beliefs.

I was thinking the other day about Dante's "Inferno." If you haven't read it, you should. "The Inferno" is a satire of sorts of modern day politics. It's hard to get a grip on the humor 700 years after the fact, but one of the things Dante writes about is how alchemists are in Hell for various reasons. Part of the reason is they try to turn various metals to gold, which is against nature. I'm not sure if it's alchemists or some other profession of that day, but people who predict the future are in Hell. Their specific punishment is their heads are on backwards in Hell as punishment as always trying to see forward in time. They can only see what's behind them, not in front of them. (you may see where the humor comes in at this point).

I was wondering if modern meteorologists, according to "The Inferno," are destined to Hell for the same reason. You may recall a previous blog of mine about weathermen. If Dante is right, I certainly have no problem with this. My reasoning is that weathermen predict the future. They may not prophesize about major political events to come but they do predict the future. A friend of mine disagreed with me. He said they gather scientific evidence to evaluate the most probable weather pattern. I wondered how that is not a prediction. I asked him how he would define "prediction" and he replied, "not in the way I responded." Naturally I disagreed. It seems to me if someone estimates an outcome that has not yet happened, then that is a prediction. Regardless of how you came about the estimation, or outcome, if it pertains to something possibly happening in the future it is a prediction.

Marriam-Webster defines "Predict" as: "to declare or indicate in advance; especially : foretell on the basis of observation, experience, or scientific reason.

I feel I have made my case to the world. I would enjoy seeing how a response to that would be formulated.

Free Blogs with Internet

I grow tired of conservatives. Specifically the neo-conservatives, not the conservatives who have logical, pre-determined ideas of what being a conservative means. Enough of this Mosque talk. If you don't agree, move to another country. If you don't understand, read the First Amendment to our Constitution. It's simple. And since the WTC or 9/11 site is so "sacred" why don't we remove all the tattoo parlors, strip joints and bars from the surrounding area? Maybe if we do that, I'll actually start to think New Yorkers and Americans will actually think this is "sacred ground" instead of just saying that for bullshit reasons.

The neo-consevatives are such a self contradicting group, that if you take everything they've said and listen to it in a one day period, an intelligent person would be left with absolutely no clue on what to do next, because everything they say they eventually go back on.

Surround yourself with smart people, you'll get a good view of the world. Surround yourself with idiots, you'll become one.

Fortunately, I have enough faith in the human race that I believe although the chatter is loud, that is pretty much all it is. Those with the loudest voice are not usually the ones representing the view of the majority. The best thing that anyone can do when they meet someone who actually believes the delusional bullshit polluting the airwaves is ask "Why do you believe that?" or "Why do you think that?" It's a simple question and it leaves those without facts completely aimless on what to say or do next. "Because Rush Limbaugh said so." is not a valid answer. Ask the person what they think for themselves and you'll find they most likely have not done such a thing for the last ten years.

This is who the Neo-conservatives prey upon. Uneducated, lower class white people who are afraid of the sharks in the neighborhood pool. There are no sharks in the pool. But their are if you tell these people that.

Iran has determined mullets to be unlawful. As silly as this is, it is a law I agree with. Good job, Iran. Way to force better hairdos and style upon your populace. The mullet is one unfortunate consequence from freedom of expression.

Blink Before You Read

I have found that my blog posts have an amazing ability. Most of the comments that I receive are from some very wonderful characters that I have previously been introduced to. Richard Kimble, Buster Bluth, even myself from the future. Up until now I have not been familiar with any device or method that could make fictional characters come to life and actually talk to me. I should be elated to make this discovery, and be the cause on why these beings are coming to life. However, these characters are not my favorites from the world of film and television. The Man With No Name from the spaghetti westerns would be interesting to talk to about his view of today's world. Hannibal Lecter would provide a great psychological/historical/philosophical dialogue before getting too hungry. Gandalf the Grey would be extremely entertaining to have around. One thing I am pleased to know is that some point in the future, I will have found a way to travel through time, at lease through cyberspace. I look forward to that day.

There is a new dog in the house for a short amount of time. This one is more pleasant due to its lack of activity. I can't even tell if the dog likes me, but she at least tolerates me sitting by her while petting her back. She's had several names at this point, but I'm calling her Keanu, after Keanu Reeves. And not because I like the actor that much, but because at any one point it is impossible to tell what exactly she is feeling. She sits on the floor, the couch, eats, sleeps, walks around and watches TV all with the exact some expression, poise, and posture. If Keanu has been successful as he has been, this dog could be a jackpot for a producer with no ideas and half a brain.

Which reminds me, I saw "The Expendables" this past weekend. Thank God someone finally knows how to make an action flick. For any one in Hollywood, watch this movie and take a hint. Also understand that when a movie is rated R, it's not because the director and editor fucked up and accidentally left too gory of a scene. It's rated R because it's action. There should be bones breaking, body parts flying and blood spraying. If you want to see a movie that squirts testosterone like an orange squirts juice, then go see this. If you're a pansy ass, I think "Salt" is still playing.

Something Weird on My Desk

This past weekend I gave a visit to my parents, reassure them that I was indeed happy with who I married. We stayed in my old room, or my brother's old room. I'm still not quite sure on how to categorize that. For years as a kid I wondered, and asked on a monthly basis, when would I get a bigger room? I was told when Luke went to college. As a six year old, you really have no concept of what that means, or how long that really is. Eventually I figured out that Luke would leave the household to seek a brighter future, thus leaving his room vacant. So I waited patiently.

When Luke left for college, I was waiting for the all clear from Mother. It never came. I waited one year, as I apparently had grown accustomed to my smaller room and toys seemed to stop flooding it every birthday and Christmas. Luke came home for summer, got himself a summer job for a few months, then went back to B-ham. I realized at this point Mother was never going to say I could move in to his old room. Something she was trying to hold on to, I guess. I decided to not even say anything. One night, I started sleeping in that bigger room with the bigger bed. A couple days passed before Mom noticed. And it wasn't my sleeping in the room that tipped her off. It was the fact she found all of my stuff suddenly moved into Luke's old room. I'm not sure what kind of shock that caused her, but if it did any, she took it really well. Which is surprising knowing how this woman reacts to finding pubic hairs on couch cushions.

Now whenever Luke visits home he'll say "my room" referring to that bigger room. And rightfully so. There was only one bedroom he ever stayed in during the nine years before he left for college, so why wouldn't he refer to it as that? The trouble is I refer to it as my room as well. The smaller room, now with a bigger bed, has been completely disowned.

All the rooms have been refurnished now to be more accommodating for guests, the sons and their spouses/significant others. What's amazing to me is every time I go to stay at my parents house, I'll go take a shower and the shampoo and conditioner are almost out. After all the remodels and refurnishing of a major portion of the house, I find it hard to believe the one area that could cause trouble for a guest is lack of hair product. I went ahead and used the rest of the conditioner. If my mother is surprised by the bottle's emptiness, I hope she isn't too upset as she only left me a teaspoon of the stuff.

I went to a bar this past weekend and among other crowds at the bar, one there was hard of hearing. Literally. They were signing to each other, some were wearing hearing aids and most must have a hobby of blocking pathways in bars. I was amazed at how many were at the bar. I figure the entire community of the hearing impaired of Vancouver had to be at this bar. I'm not entirely sure why they were there. It couldn't have been for the music. The music was karaoke and I suppose one good thing about being deaf is you don't have to listen to the bad singers who are too drunk to know better. So many songs have been ruined for that reason. Another thing is that it is hard to squeeze by someone in the middle of a signing conversation. You can't say "excuse me." I just gently nudged through. Maybe they thought it was rude. Of course it might be considered rude when you stand in the middle of an aisle way and you can't hear anyone who wants to get by. I guess that's just life.

Not to say I was left out of sorts by the hearing impaired due to their impairment. I was pleased to see them having a good time, but what else could I do?

AWOL and back again

I was talking to someone today who mentioned that they changed the oil in their car for the first time and they were late to work because of it. I've changed the oil on several cars and his dilemma peaked my interest. I asked him if he lubricated the gasket. He had no idea what I was talking about. I fear for that gentleman's car.

I changed the oil in my car awhile back. The one thing that always annoys me about changing the oil in a car is finding where the oil filter is and wondering exactly how difficult the damn thing is going to be getting the new one on there. My car was apparently designed by geniuses. The oil filter is right next to the oil pan of the car and couldn't be easier to get to (other than the fact that it is underneath the car). The real problem was getting the drain plug off.

I don't appreciate how these guys at auto repair shops using electric tools. I know its easier and makes the job faster, but when getting bolts back onto my car, do they really have to make it tighter than what I can get off? Is that some ploy to get me back into the shop? Anyway, with an excess amount of elbow grease, I got the damn thing off. Hopefully now it will be easier next time.

I know this isn't an interesting post. I'm really not sure if any of my posts are interesting, but I'm definitely not feeling this one. Some of you wanted one, especially after my absence last week, so here you are.

Just please know right now that all I have going on is work and wedding stuff. One I don't talk about and the other I just don't think would be interesting. Perhaps I'm wrong. The wedding is getting down to the wire. It's all the small things now. Writing lists, printing lists, buying groceries, thinking of the ceremony, etc. I may get a chance to post next week, but keep in mind I'll be a newly married man and Monday next week is the first full day of marriage for me. I may be preoccupied by other things. I ask for your forgiveness in advance.

They Treasure the Ginger Ale

I remember as a kid I loved to travel. I still do. But as a kid I loved every part of traveling, especially the airplane part, where you sped up real fast, felt your stomach go into your feet and watched the ground get smaller. As spoiled as I already was, everyone in the family would yield the window seat to me. I wouldn't sleep. I would just stare out the window most of the trip, but time went by like I was dreaming.

Now airline travel sucks. And its not because I'm older. I still enjoy that takeoff and landing just as much as I did when I was little. No, I'm afraid the world of aviation is likely going the way of the Hindenburg. I've flown to Atlanta several times in my life, for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, we got fed. That's right, they gave me food. And not just me, but everyone. If you were on that plane, you were going to be fed. After all it was a four and a half to a five hour flight and people might get hungry.

I caught a connection from Atlanta to Portland. No food. They gave me peanuts, which I don't like (and I thought that was stopped due to the peanut allergy). Seriously? No Food? No odd tasting, reheated meat loaf? No spaghetti noodle like carrots? No bread with ice butter? What in the hell is wrong with the airlines? I want my damn food, especially on a five hour flight. There are laws in states where if people work for more than five hours, they must be given a lunch break. Shouldn't the same apply to passengers when they're confined to a metallic cylinder filled with 200-300 other people for hours at time?

Whenever you get off the plane, you have the whole flight crew up at the front, waving good bye and saying, 'Thanks for flying with us.' If you really want to thank me for flying your shitty airline, give me some damn food.

Oh, and one more thing; When we land and they pipe in over the PA system "On behalf of Starvation Airlines we'd like to welcome you to (insert city)." I don't think they can do that, as much as they might like to. There is no way they can welcome me to a place that they themselves have just arrived at. It defies the rules of language and etiquette.

I'm starting to be less impressed with these airports as well. They do have food, so they have that going for them. But when I got off the plane, I was waiting to be picked up. The traffic outside was packed. Which wasn't surprising considering it was July 5th, but it was at a standstill. Not one car in either of the pickup lanes was moving. Because they weren't picking people up, they were waiting to pick people up. Which I thought was illegal. Maybe I misread those "No Parking" signs. My ride couldn't even merge in to get close to me. I decided to head out into the middle of the free moving traffic, load up my bags and myself and get out. It was more efficient and was less aggravating for me.

Where were the traffic cops? Shouldn't they be blowing whistles and gesticulating like they took a course on where they learned those moves? When picking my dad up from the airport on business trips cops would always tell us to move on and come around again. Today it seems they don't even need that "return to terminal" route.

And please no one tell me that the airports can't afford traffic cops. I walk in some airports that have art pieces more impressive than some museums. Why are there art pieces in airports? It's not like people are flying from all over the world to see the magnificent Lewis and Clark tile map at the Portland Airport. How much did that cost? How many traffic cops could have told all those annoying drivers outside the terminal to "get moving"?

Airports should be like Costco. Just a giant warehouse where people come in, via foot or airplane, find where they need to go and get out. It's efficient, saves money and it doesn't give me a false idea of what the city I'm in is all about.

Airports need to stop giving impressions and start ferrying people on their oblivious little way.

I Pronounce This Rodent Dead

I killed a bunny yesterday. Not that I meant to, the dumb bunny ran underneath the tire of my car, which is inadvisable to do at 30mph. The sad part is I didn't even swerve to avoid him. I typically don't swerve when I see small animals in the road. First because swerving is dangerous, and second I think the animal has more of a chance to live if I don't swerve. A car's path is usually pretty easy to predict for just about any creature. They usually go along those hard black surfaces at incredible rates, but rarely is any swerving involved. I figure if an animal is dumb enough to run in front of me, then surely they should know where my tires are, and they will continue on their present course along the road. I did just that and this rabbit exploded. I didn't just clip him or anything. It was right over the top of him. Survival of the fittest now includes cognition on the paths of large inanimate objects.

I've been trying to find which vows to use for our wedding. We're not writing our own, fortunately. We hope to find some pre-written words that jumble together to form some sappy sentiments. This will save us from the embarrassment by admitting we wrote them. My primary plan of attack is to find a nice platform to start from and tweak it slightly from there. I'm surprised at how vows are generally unoriginal. Sure, the traditional is nice, but I'm not sure about the words "till death do you part." For those who believe in the afterlife, these words make it sound like the beloved couple will not be reunited after they both die. Is this the church's attempt to let everyone know it's okay to fall in love with someone else, as long as you're dead? Love, cherish, honor and obey are all fine, but drastically overused. As someone who writes on a weekly basis, I strive to use unconventional words for something as a wedding and phrase things in the less traditional sense.

I was thinking how it would be funny to model the vows after movie speeches. You know like "You may take my heart, but you will never take my freedom." I'm not really sure how that one would go over though. In fact, of all the ones I thought, they either don't make sense, or may not go over well.

I also think there are too many vows regarding religion. I know that's the institution that has supported marriage the most for the last 1500 years or so, but some of them make it sound like the people are going to pay more attention to God than they are to each other. What a boring life that must have been.

12 Gauge Pump Action Lotion Dispenser

It seems that most of my blogs come from things that I have either seen or read. I suppose this means I am alive. I blog therefore I am. Oh Descartes, where would the blogosphere be without you? For that matter, where would Twitter be without you?

I saw a commercial about kids traveling to imaginative lands and these lands resided within the confines of Disney World. It started out with two kids holding sticks while pronouncing Latin words better than an Ancient Roman Senator. Obviously they were wizards within the Harry Potter Universe battling it out to see who would overcome, good or evil. This idea of kids reenacting scenarios from popular media is not new, but seems to have reached a great deal of safety these days. These kids were merely pointing sticks at one another and giving each other a Linguistic lesson. What a boring play time. How can one even tell who's winning when two kids are shooting imaginary spells at each other? Cops and robbers had imaginary bullets, but there seemed to be a great deal of sportsmanship between who shot who first.

Back when I was a kid Star Wars was all the rage. For lightsabers we used sticks, but instead of waving them around in the air, like we were composers at a symphony, we smacked the hell out of each other with them, because that is essentially what they do in the movie. Not only was there an added level of physical harm, but an added level of creativity as well. See, if you get hit by an imaginary spell, like Sectumsempra, all you do is fall down and pretend to wince in pain, but soon you recover and go at it again. On the other hand, if an imaginary lightsaber strikes your wrist, not only do you have a stinging sensation on your wrist, you now effectively no longer have a hand to fight with, as it has been slashed off by the imaginary lightsaber. So now you have to fight with one hand. But it wasn't always the hand, sometimes it was a leg, or an ear and occasionally the head. The point is with each missing appendage, you had to relearn how to fight your opponent.

My brothers were masters at this. They would slash at each other for hours. My oldest brother was always kind, and would let my other brother choose who he wanted to be. Of course he always chose Luke Skywalker which would make my oldest brother Darth Vader. Since Darth Vader was older, taller, stronger and more precise in his attacks than Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader would always win. It was like a remake of the lightsaber fight in Empire Strikes Back, each time a different appendage of Luke's being cut off. The hand, the leg, a stab in the abdomen, and in the extreme remakes, decapitation. The best ones were Luke getting both a hand and a leg sliced off and watching him hop around while swinging his lightsaber stick frantically, hoping for that lucky blow. Alas, our yard did not have a mock central air shaft for Luke to fall down into. I fear in those cases the Empire may have prevailed.

Firecrackergram

Rush Limbaugh is married. I can't quite conceive of the idea that someone can stand to be married to that guy, much less bear to look at him. He is so physically unattractive I can't even bring myself to consider him to be a member of the same species as myself. If a baboon's ass was it's own species, I would possibly consider him being one of those, but instead he just constantly acts like one.

I've recently been watching TV, and there is a commercial out now that attempts to gain the attention of men over the age of 45. It asks if they haven't been feeling like they used to, when they were in their 20's and 30's and wanted to have drunken wild sex and dance all night. If so, they may have something called LT, which I believe the full name is Lymphotoxin and which I can find very little information on.

I have a question about this commercial; What happened to just getting old? Does that not happen anymore? Does the medical community actually have to diagnose everything? Are you more tired than you used to be? Don't go out with your wife as frequently as you used to? Do you have gray hair? Do you have wrinkles? Of course, unless you're a corpse, this shit happens. No wonder our medical system is so far down the toilet. We waste money on finding diagnoses for symptoms that have always existed since the extinction of the dinosaurs, and dupe people into believing that they have Glutessummissus, which is a sagging of the ass. We get old, our hair grays, our skin wrinkles, and we have less energy. There is nothing wrong with you.

As a response to a comment I had in my previous post, someone, "London Caller" mentioned the correlation between divorce and the more independent women have become over the last fifty or so years. I had thought about this as well as I was writing the blog, but had decided to leave out the theory as I had not done any research on it. I still haven't as I believe the theory is pretty sound and I do not wish to pursue the matter, but I do happen to agree that women in the work force has given rise to divorce. This is to say nothing bad of women, more power to them. It's just astonishing to me how many divorces their are. But there have always been bad marriages, and most likely there always will be, so if you see a chance to get out of one, go for it.

And for one final tidbit, Helen Thomas is no longer a correspondent for the White House, due to some ill advised remarks about the Israelis in Palestine. She can say what she wants, she is entitled to that, but she shouldn't apologize for what she said. It's clear how she feels about the matter and there's no point in apologizing, especially since she retired due to the remarks.

Say what you want, Helen, no one's holding you back. Clearly Rush says what he wants and he is still employed, although I wouldn't call what he does a "living" or even an existence.

The Lackadaisical Jogathon

Over the past year, my eyes have quickly been opened to the facade of American life. When I was a child, I was raised with the idea that the goal to life, the ultimate finish line, was to marry a nice girl, have some children, buy a nice house and live life at a leisurely pace. All the while the family is more cheery than the Brady Bunch. And I would accuse shows like the Brady Bunch of putting on this facade.

In reality, I've noticed something quite different. That picturesque lifestyle with the house and nice lady are pretty established no matter where you go in this country. Even the children are pretty ubiquitous. But within the walls of most of these houses is something far different than The Brady Bunch. First off I don't really see children playing outside anymore. I see them walking, I see them talking, but what happened to the kids, like my brother, who would climb trees in their new white dress pants and get their mom angry? Don't kids fall and break their arms anymore? Are they playing video games that often? Or are their parents so protective that when the child grows up to be the adult they become, they will have no self confidence? Or are the parents so pushy on having their child be an overachiever that the poor kid has no time or thoughts to themselves?

And the happy married couple? What couples? Everyone is getting divorced today it seems. The norm now is for a kid to have divorced parents and instead of his friends asking "what is he doing this weekend?" It's now "Whose house are you staying at this weekend?"

So why the facade? It's clearly not typical American life, (though I did experience a pretty close application of such an upbringing). And the mere existence of this facade does not promote the real life version. American families aren't exactly close with each other. That's the real impression I get. Perhaps it's because this country grew up in the modern age, perhaps it's just part of our identity, after all, our ancestors migrated away from their ancestors. But this facade, it doesn't exist. At least not to a large extent. So what is the American Family really like? Poor? Rich? Busy? Lazy? At this point I have no idea. All I have is my idea of how to bring my own family together, when I have one, and what to do with each passing moment. I don't plan on divorce being in the plan. I plan on overcoming obstacles. That's the way I was raised.

The Flip Side of the Dark Side

I wonder if a police officer, while driving in their patrol car, would wish that everyone would just start driving crazy. Not to pull any one over, but just to change things up a bit. Because when you're driving near a police officer you try to do everything perfect. You check your blind spot, look in your rear view mirror, start to move that lever up or down to begin that annoying clicking sound to indicate you will not resume your present course (what was that thing called again)? And you come to complete stops at stop signs, even if it is completely unnecessary. Sometimes I wonder if an officer says to themselves "Just drive through the damn intersection! It's an all stop! Just roll through it like you normally do, it's more efficient and it saves gas!"

I kind of doubt it, but the thought is amusing.

I was eating at a fast food restaurant the other day, actually I went through the drive through and after ordering they told me to pull up to the second window. Why is it the second window? Why not the first? And why are there two windows when every restaurant I drive through only uses the popular second one? As a kid I just thought it was the remnant of some system that was now obsolete. But restaurants are still being constructed with this ubiquitous second window. And I still never use the first. It's odd.

Actually, just a couple of days ago I got to use a first window. It was at McDonalds at 1:30 in the morning.

Why was I at McDonald's at 1:30 in the morning?
Don't ask questions, just listen to the story.

They told me to drive up to the first window. I did and handed them some plastic, which they promptly returned. Then I waited, and waited. And waited. Until I saw a paper bag being waved at me from the second window. Apparently I had been caught off guard by this revolutionary two window system. I pulled forward and grabbed my food.

"Why didn't you tell me to pull up to the second window?" I asked.
The man in the adorable outfit replied, "This is the way it's always been."

What planet was I on again? What rebellious institution had I decided to invest time and money into?

I curtly responded, "Well that may be, but you still need to let me know."

I peeled away. I have no patience for poor customer service. Not that I was expecting anything great from McDonald's, it's sort of the Walmart of fast food, but at least tell me where I can get my food. It is the one thing I do expect after all. It's like going to a gas station and they've hidden all the gas pumps from you. It's rude.

This is not to Code

I was watching CSI: Miami the other day, thoroughly not enjoying it, and paying particular attention to how rigid and robotic David Caruso is. Whether it is his character, or his acting ability, it needs to be undone. He makes the show painful. Until I started imagining that David Caruso's character was a robot from the future, sent back to help solve crimes. And it was amazing how well it all fit. The show became much better after I made that fictional leap.

CSI: Las Vegas is really the only decent one out there, and it needs to be canceled at this point. No Gus Grissom? It's like an Indiana Jones without an Indiana Jones or a Bond film without James Bond. It will never be the same. The same goes for Law and Order. That shit needs to stop.

But since I have no doubt CBS and NBC are going to do nothing but continue these overdone series, I have a few suggestions for new Law and Order shows. I have a suggestions for new CSI shows as well, but all you have to do is blindly place your finger on a map and see what city you're closest to. New ideas for Law and Order shows are below:

Law & Order: WWII (World War II)
Law & Order: WWJD (What Would Jesus Decide)
Law & Order: IS! (In Space!)

And I will end with the space idea, because when a producer runs out of ideas, all they do is put whatever preexisting situation people are watching and puts it in space. That's what NBC should have done with ER. Can you imagine chasing a heart in zero G in the middle of a transplant and the doctors only have minutes to save some poor space janitor's life? That's great television.

Now go back to watching TV. You have no idea how much crap you missed by reading me.

We Have the Right to be Intelligent

Okay so I know this is sort of old news at this point, but that's the downside to once weekly posts. Unless you have absolutely no cares about the outside world, you have undoubtedly heard of the attempted bombing in Times Square in New York.

Fortunately no one was hurt and a suspect has been caught. Unfortunately the idiots who try to make this world a more unbearable place to live in every day are screaming about things they have no knowledge about. Why is it such a big deal that this guy was read his Miranda Rights? I know he's a suspected terrorist and people don't exactly want to give him a big warm hug right now, and I'm in agreement with this feeling. I have very little sympathy for terrorists. But the simple fact remains, the guy has rights. Just like you and I, he is to be tried in a court of law, innocent until proven guilty and read his Miranda Rights. In fact, if he had not been read his Miranda Rights, he would go free.

Yes, I know, profound isn't it?

It is a constitutional right for each person to be read their rights upon being arrested and if that does not happen, the case is extremely liable to be thrown out and the suspect, of which most know is guilty, goes free. People who have been under arrest have been read their Miranda Rights incorrectly have gone free. People who were not read their Miranda Rights immediatly upon being arrested and instead on the car ride to the police station have gone free. So if you're shouting about Faisal Shahzad and how he has no rights, shut up. You're stupid, you don't know what you're talking about and all you're trying to do is help this guy blow up parts of the United States. And by that logic, I could call you a terrorist.

This Miranda Rights stuff is so rediculous, even Glenn Beck agrees Shahzad should be read his rights. Glenn Beck is a man I rarely agree with. For once, I applaud you Mr. Beck. Hopefully you've enlightened thousands of your constantly illinformed audience.

Not only do I agree Faisal Shahzad has rights, I also agree with his taste. He was using a Nissan Pathfinder. Do you have any idea how reliable those things are? I drove a 17 year old pathfinder around for two years, and if it were up to me I still would be if someone hadn't broadsided me early last year and totaled the whole thing. Of course, a Pathfinder isn't very reliable after you use it to blow up Times Square, but asian made cars can only go so far. But much farther than American made cars.

False Alarm

Well despite my best efforts, I just can't bring myself to write today. Maybe what's going on isn't interesting me, or maybe the fact that I worked 12 hours today is sucking what motivation I had today out of me.

I would recommend checking back in a day or two.

I will leave you with hope.

Change the Pace to Stop

I've been moving for the last three days. Maybe I should rephrase that. I've been moving to a new address for the last three days. Moving is a very general term and I didn't wan't anyone to think that I've just simply been moving, as if moving for me is an unusual performance. However it would explain the punctuality of my posts.

Aside from all the other laborious activities that go into moving, one thing I've been doing is lifting heavy boxes. I'm not complaining, I could've moved each thing one at a time and not have to worry about heavy items. What I've noticed though is the slightly increased mass to my muscles. I'm am not a big man, nor a muscular one. Keeping these two facts in mind, they are unbelievable considering how much crap I eat, and how little I exercise, (though I assure you I do move). I know to get bigger muscles one must work out for a few weeks and then see results, but for me, results seem to take only hours. I would think it would be my imagination if my fiance did not agree with me, but she sees it too as I lift her above my head, as if I were performing for the WWE or WWF or whatever the hell it is called now. Or did it ever change names? This is how little I care about such things.

It is times like this that make me realize how lucky I am to have such a potentially athletic body. And I think perhaps maybe I'll begin to work out, so my brothers don't look at me in disgust anymore while I eat a bowl of chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup seductively drizzled over the top of each mounding scoop. Then I think that I don't really want to sign up for a gym membership, or buy weights as they aren't convenient for my new address. Oh, I almost forgot, I'm also kind of lazy. I have that working against me as well.

Gloves for Feet, Socks for Hands

So apparently the Icelandic People have managed to royally piss off some volcano God and He's laying punishment down in the form of spewing ash and fire. That is if you believe that sort of thing. You could go with the "scientific" theory on tectonic plates, but let's face it, that belief has far too much evidence going for it.

Anyhow a volcano is erupting. The ash is spreading over most of Europe, thereby canceling tens of thousands of flights. Obviously this is a bit more than a minor inconvenience for a lot of people. Pilots, flight attendants, air traffic controllers, airport personnel, and passengers are all being affected. And somewhere in the mix, people, mostly the airlines, are pissed at the ones who've decided it's too dangerous to fly.

It is situations like this where I think no one can be happy. So flights are canceled and people are pissed. That's what happens when flights are canceled. However, usually when a flight is canceled, it's because those who canceled the flight are concerned for the safety of the people on board. Let's say the flight restrictions hadn't occurred after the volcano erupted. So planes fly freely, one has mechanical issues and has to land. It's blamed on the ash, so restrictions are enforced. Let's say instead of a mechanical issue, a plane crashes due to the ash. Now lives have been lost, restrictions are made, fingers are pointed and someone gets fired.

So for the people who are upset with these delays, would you rather be delayed for slightly longer and know your plane is fine when it flies, or not be delayed, or delayed briefly, and have a risk of your plane crashing?

I've taken off in the middle of a typhoon before. Although it was quite the hair raising experience, I had full confidence that those who made the decisions, including the pilots, knew exactly what they were doing. And here I am writing this blog.

So let's think for a minute. People who are deciding that planes can't fly over Europe right now should agree that the conditions to fly are more dangerous than flying in a hurricane or typhoon. Is it really worth the risk? Can't that tedious business meeting wait, or wouldn't you rather wait a few more days to see your family than die and never see them again? So to the people who are griping about the travel restrictions; shut up. They're thinking about your lives and your safety and doing the best they can to keep your health status in its current condition.

Shea Butter is Good on Toast

For those of you who know I have a wedding coming up, the planning is coming along nicely and a glue stick has been purchased. For reasons I wont go into, I had to buy a glue stick. First I was astounded at the lack of options I had to buy just one glue stick. Everything comes in three, five or forty packs now. I also had to decide between brands. For myself, I'm a brand guy. I'm going to buy Heinz ketchup and not the generic. I prefer Oroweat over Franz and Kitchen Aid over Whirlpool or Sunbeam. Is there a difference between each of these? In some cases, probably not, in others, most likely, yes.

Anyhow, back to the glue sticks. I remember as a child using elmers. I don't know why it was always elmers. I think I remember seeing on the "items for school" list the district mailed out every year "Elmers Glue." It was interesting how they used the brand. Like the public education system had some sort of secret contract with elmers glue. So I look at each of the packs of glue and see what they have to say for themselves. The Avery brand said it was "acid free". As I don't recall any horrific acid incidents ever occurring to anyone from a glue stick, I think that one is bogus. The Scotch brand said it wouldn't wrinkle paper. As it was paper I needed to glue, that was relevant. I also recall using glue sticks in the past and the paper would wrinkle up on me. I never appreciated that. Congratulations Scotch, you just won a sale. I also prefer your tape. Hopefully your reputation in putting things back together in my life will stay strong, just like your tape. Zing!

That "acid free" thing on the Avery glue kind of stuck with me, though. I wonder if it has any credit to saying that, or if it's just some fancy term most people will be sold on. I wonder if I could create a product and put fancy terms on it to sell to people. I could make a counter top cleaner that says "Lead Free" or a Shampoo that says "Contains Dry Fast ingredients!"

I heard a study this past week that says eating cheese a half hour before bed time will increase your chances of having more lucid dreams. I tried this out. Cheddar cheese definitely made me dream more and remember them more easily, nothing of note of what happened in the dreams. Parmesan cheese was different. It was a disturbing dream, one that I hope won't occur again. So if you want to dream tonight, at least 2/3 of an ounce of cheese 30 minutes before bed time should do the trick.

A History of Lies

I watched the movie "Glory" for the first time yesterday. I support the making of another film with both Denzel Washington and Morgan Freeman. They could be detectives solving a murder mystery. Samuel L. Jackson could be the chief of police. Dave Chapelle would be the new recruit. George Clooney would be the murderer.
Best. Movie. Ever.

While watching "Glory" the character played by Matthew Broderick fights in the Battle of Antietam. I was getting caught up in the suspense, not knowing who would die, or, surprisingly, who would win. I had no idea who was going to win this battle. It's a little sad. I've been an American for 24 years and I have no idea about the bloodiest chapter of my nation's history.

Now before any one jumps to conclusions and calls me ignorant, stupid, and an uneducated swine, I would like everyone to know that I am a college educated individual. And that is where the really sad part comes in. I went to school for 17 years. Seventy percent of my life thus far has been spent on learning. Or has it?

I have taken, at the very least, three U.S History classes. One in High School, and two at the University I attended. And I don't know who wins the Battle of Antietam. In fact there is lots about the Civil War I don't know. I don't know how it ended. I know the Union won, but mainly because this nation is still intact and not divided into several smaller nations. I know it began by a firing on Ft. Sumter (at least I think so) but I don't know who held Ft. Sumter or who fired on it. And why were they firing? I didn't even know the course of the Battle of Gettysburg until I saw the movie Gettysburg. And I didn't know the outcome of Antietam until I saw "Glory". I know more about the Civil War from Hollywood, than I do from the education that I have worked most of my life for.

'How did this come to be?' you may ask. Well, It's simple really. Each of the classes I took went in depth into many areas of U.S. History. The Revolution, Reconstruction, World War I and II, The Great Depression, etc. But each time we came chronologically to the Civil War, the teacher/professor would say, "We don't have time to cover the Civil War. It's far too expansive and long to cover in one week." I guess at the time I should have stood up and said, "Can you at least tell me who started it?"

So there we have it. Both the U.S educational system, and my own pursuits of education have failed me terribly in the case of the Civil War. Eight year olds in China probably have a better idea of what happened in the American Civil War than I do. This system desperately needs to change. To say that something is "too big" to study may be one of the most absurd statements I've heard. Why not have high school classes specifically on the war? Why not drop some topics that may not be as interesting? Is Prohibition really that important? I don't think so. Prohibition: "The Government thought people were drinking too much, so the consumption of alcohol was outlawed. But all that happened was it was driven underground. Crime was rampant for a few years until it was legal again." The End. Show the kids some pictures of the time and you have about as much knowledge as anyone needs to ever have.

Too big to study goes right along the lines of another statement I've heard recently; Too big to fail. I wish our educational system was that way, but unfortunately it's failing perfectly well under its current status.

I'm not too broken up about not knowing about the Civil War. Education is easy to come by thanks to Wikipedia, and it's free. Besides if I read an untrue and unreferenced statement in Wikipedia, at least it's more accurate than what the U.S. Educational System tried to tell me: It's too big to study.

So You Think You Can Prance?

Bit by bit as time has gone by, I've learned to survive independently in this world. Ten years ago I wouldn't have believed it myself, but what 14 year old actually envisions themselves living on their own one day (Other than one from a broken household)? I forgot a payment on my credit card. Of course I was hit with quite a high interest rate. Once I realized my mistake I immediately paid the full amount. It was just a simple switch in my head that I flipped. Most people, upon realizing what they owe would've either thrown away the statement, or called in a furious rage. I base my "most people" statistic upon the ever enduring economy we currently are under. If banks and home owners had been more responsible this mess would not have gotten so bad, but I digress.

While writing that check, my mind was going through this simple explanation, "I signed a contract and said if I didn't pay up, this is what I owe." It was simple to me. Some people however, don't seem to understand this concept. Or perhaps they don't understand that typically one should use their credit card like a debit card. I'm not really talking about the people who have credit cards for emergencies, or the ones who use them to pay off education. Mostly I'm talking about the irresponsible greedy people who have $20,000 of debt because they bought too many clothes and jewelry and can't help themselves. I have one word for these people: STOP. If these people have as much time on their hands and as much fictional money, the least they can do is donate some of their used and unused purchases to goodwill and other places. How come no one goes in debt because they donated $20,000 to charity? Why isn't there that impulse in some of us? This is the reason I don't hold much hope for humanity. We're greedy, irresponsible people who only look out for ourselves. We take what we don't need and don't give what we don't want.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not entirely negative. Most people are friendly enough to strangers and most people obey the law. But we look out only for ourselves, and sometimes those who are close to us. Nothing more than that. There are good things in this world, people who are wholly selfless. But I can't help but think there are other people out who will take advantage of another person's kindness. I've seen and heard it happen before and I don't expect it to stop.

Anyway the point of all this is, spend wisely and don't abuse your credit card. If we can stop doing that, then maybe we can move on to other things, like focusing on helping other people. Or maybe improving our education and health care systems. What's amazing to me is people don't like to pay taxes, but some of them love to owe money to corporations that they wouldn't be in debt to if they had been a little more responsible.

The Burn of Salt

I guess it's a pretty popular thing now to go up on stage and interrupt someone's acceptance speech in what is maybe that person's happiest moment.

I'm not quite sure when everyone hopped on board the asshole train in this country, but count me out because I am a human being. I have respect for other people and the more I look around, the less of that there seems to be.

If Taylor Swift had punched Kanye West in the balls, I don't think anyone would've minded, except for Kanye. And now this has spread to the Academy Awards. I assume it won't be long before making an acceptance speech is the last thing anyone wants to do because of inconsiderate people lurking in the shadows, waiting for that perfect moment to jump in. Hell, I bet It'll be the focus of some new reality show.

I consider myself to be a decent person. I have my faults, but who doesn't, right? Yet, despite my outward kindness towards others upon a first meeting, and subsequent meetings if applicable, it seems I'm always left disappointed. A good, solid, and perhaps, long lasting friendship starts to form, good times are shared and eventually I end up left behind. If I went wrong, apparently I'm not self reflective enough to see where. I'm not all that social of a person. It's rather difficult for me to find someone I really enjoy hanging out with. Yet I do like to hang out with people, but it seems to be such a rare event in my life. And it seems to be a recurring theme that people that I've chosen to hang with, eventually decide they have something better to do, and I'm left with my thumb up my ass. If I was flaky, like never showing up, I would understand. If my temper flew off randomly when I'm in public, I would understand. And if I never talked or said entertaining things I might understand. But I do my best to show up, engage in the conversation and though I have a temper, it usually shows up in the privacy of my home, not where others can see it.

I used to wonder why precisely I never hung out with people. Now it seems that I don't want be left in the dust again. It's rude to cancel for arbitrary reasons, or say you've made plans for the same time after we discussed our plans together. If you don't want to hang out, just say so, it's less painful and my time won't be wasted.

All I want is a reliable friend...

A Prancing Pony is a Beautiful Thing

I can't quite focus on the negative things right now, I guess today is a pretty good day.

This past weekend I discovered an extremely simple, girly and fun game through Adult Swim Games. It is called Robot Unicorn Attack. If you have played this, then you have seen the utopia that we all dream of. It is a game that consists of nothing more than a robot unicorn dashing and jumping from one far off ledge to another while chasing a fairy butterfly entity and bashing through silver stars. There is so much purple in the game, your retinas will be burned out by the color. All the while the song "Always" by Erasure will be stuck in your head and you will leave home humming it to yourself. There is no point to the game. You just dash from ledges and plow through stars to earn points merely so you can brag about it to your coworkers.

Sorry Chile, you had your earthquake too late, Haiti got all of the attention.

One of the good things about the Olympics being over is all these companies can stop trying to be so damn motivational during their commercials and go back to the same old boring crap they do best for the next two years.

The Freezing Thaw

No one really knows if the debate on "Global Warming" will ever cease. My guess is that it won't as climate change is a constant ongoing process, not some odd phenomenon that began back in the 1970's. There are many problems with the various debate within "Global Warming" but I'll just stick to a few.

The first is that it should not be called "Global Warming." While the planet is increasing in temperature in general, there are many flukes that occur with the climate. Some areas are getting more rain than usual, some are getting significantly less. Some areas have a later snowfall than usual, while others receive an inexplicable amount. (Take for example the snowfall on the Northeastern part of the U.S. for about a week in February.) The title of "Global Warming" does nothing more than confuse old people and Republicans.

The second is that Humans have this unrelenting urge to classify everything into sections, chapters, classes, sects, etc. Most people are debating whether climate change is a man made disaster, or a natural process of the earth. I say it's both. As I stated earlier, the Earth's climate constantly changes and the trend does seem to be going to a warmer temperature. Taking that into account and looking at the history of the Earth's temperature for the past few millennia, the Earth is still at a fairly cool phase. In fact, depending on how far you want to stretch those sections we like to divide everything into, we are still in an ice age. Sounds absurd, I know, but right now the Earth has two polar ice caps and that is a rare moment in the last 4.5 billion years of Earth's history. Keeping all of this in mind, (while sounding like I don't believe in climate change) I certainly don't think the millions of pounds of Carbon Dioxide we pump into the atmosphere is exactly a great idea. Let alone the cutting down of trees or the spoilage of our water systems.

But let's also keep in mind there is a lot about this planet that we don't know. When the Earth is mostly covered in ice, a lot of the sunlight is reflected back off the planet and is fairly useless in helping to warm the Earth. If this is the case, and most of the Earth is covered in ice, how does the planet warm back up to the state we are at now?

In addition, when the planet is at a state like it is now, and has been before, the oceans absorb the suns rays, thereby warming the ocean and melting the ice. If there have been points when no ice caps covered the poles and mostly water covering the planet, then how does the planet cool back down to an ice age like the last one we had (and still are in now) 10,000 years ago?

Regardless of the fact that the climate is changing or why, the real issue is what do we do when it comes to a point of displacing people? The Himalayan glaciers are retreating. Those glaciers are the source points for the Indus, Yangtze, Yellow and other major rivers. These rivers support half of the world's population. If those rivers run dry, do we cram 3 billion people into other parts of the world, or do they die? Perhaps those are the questions we should be asking.

An Enigmatic Existence

Thank you to those of you who added comments to my previous post. I enjoy a good dialogue and they've even made me change my mind a time or two.

I was pondering the other day about holding the position of an anesthesiologist and what exactly that entails. Not exactly what one does, but more what it's like and I wonder if it's a do nothing job mostly. Sure you have to knock people out before surgery and know how much to give them, but besides that is there anything else? Does an anesthesiologist ever get angry at a doctor because the patient woke up in mid surgery because the doctor got some specifications wrong, or worse, didn't get them to the anesthesiologist in time? Does a surgeon ever get angry at an anesthesiologist because his patient woke up? And is there any room for upward movement from that position? Does anyone ever look at an anesthesiologist and say "That guy sure knows how to gas people! One day he'll be chief of surgery!"

These are the ramblings that occupy my brain.

I have to say a few things about "Avatar" before the Academy Awards, and I may be the first to say such things. All things considered, I give "Avatar" a B-. I have to say I was expecting more. If you've read my previous posts, you'll see I practically loved all of Cameron's movies before "Avatar." But for me, "Avatar" is missing something, and I call that character development. This is one of three elements to me that makes a good story, the other two being story line and dialogue. Of Cameron's previous films I enjoy, those films have at least two of the three, if not all three. This movie barely focused on any one of those three elements. The story was basic. Save the trees? Seriously? We've all seen this before and personally I'm beginning to get tired of it. Dialogue was standard, nothing phenomenal, which that alone is not why I was disappointed in "Avatar." Character Development: NONE. You had two sides, save the trees, and kill everything. That was it. Sigourney Weaver's character barely had a hint of development. Perhaps there was more to her character, but if there was any, it blended into the whole save the trees plot.

Was the movie visually spectacular? Absolutely, yes it was. But I don't care about effects. All Cameron did was make an average film look really cool. It's like putting marshmallows on crummy hot chocolate, but somehow a four year old kid will find it delicious.

I've heard the new "Star Trek" movie had a basic plot. I agree, it did. However each of the characters in that film were so well played and developed, that the story was supporting the characters in this case, as opposed to the other way around. In addition, most of us have seen what happens when a Star Trek plot gets too complicated; we get lost and the film gets bad reviews. For kicking off an old franchise to a new audience, I agree with the simplicity method.

Hang in there, you've only got the rest of your life left.

Perhaps a Case of the Mondays

I don't feel like writing.

Nothing has me worked up. Perhaps this blog writing so regularly is a little too therapeutic, or maybe I'm too busy to focus on things between work, reading Youth in Revolt and watching "Lost."

My cat's aren't being so annoying right now. A few days ago they decided to start crying outside the door at six AM in order to be let inside the bedroom. My solution to that was to turn up the fan to drown out the sound. I haven't heard a peep since.

I just saw the movie "The Queen." I never realized the Queen was so snobbish and self centered. Then again, she is a queen, what else am I too expect? That she would be charismatic, charming and a prankster?

Oh man, now I'm going to have Britain all over my ass.

A Thinking Cap is Not a Fashion Statement

I hope that when I get too old to drive, I'll realize it and put down my keys, before I kill someone.

I was at the grocery store the other day and the checker asked the person ahead of me if she would like any help out. As far as I know, this question was asked for no obvious reason of physical disability, just good customer service. I was wondering if she was going to ask me and as luck would have it, she did. I said no, but it got me thinking how often is that question asked now? I remember when I was a child, going to the store with my mom, she was offered help out, but that was first time in like fifteen years I heard that question. Is it because customer service has gone down and employees just don't ask anymore, or is it because the staffing for that sort of thing just isn't done now?

My neighbors were talking in the entry way, I had to go spy on them just now. No matter how often I spy on them, they never do anything interesting. One of these days though, I'm gonna see some shit go down.

Back to the grocery store. If you shop at Fred Meyer you may have noticed they have these check out lanes now that say (Express Lane (about 12 items)). One time when checking out in one of these lanes, the checker while scanning my items, actually reminded me it was a lane for only twelve items. The next time a checker has the gumption to remind of this mathematical phenomenon I'm going to remind them of what the sign says, "It says about twelve items and apparently I decided to round up today." Maybe this wouldn't annoy me so much if there weren't five lanes of "about 12 items." I understand the use of express lanes, but we don't need seven of them in a store, and the checkers should be appreciative of the fact that I'm actually utilizing them to scan me out, as opposed to those self scan aisles. I'm trying to keep these people employed and some of them have to remind me of arbitrary rules.

In addition, Express Lanes in a grocery store, or any kind of store don't make sense. In retail the big push is profit and the more the customer buys, the happier the store is. Although it would be more aggravating, it would make much more sense in this capitalistic country to have a "50 items or more" lane. No one can leave the store, until they've bought fifty items. Now that's capitalism. I foresee this in our distant future.

No New Direction

So I said I would try to update every Monday, however when you get sick and it gets to be the holidays, plans can go awry.

I really try not to do anything online when I'm sick, just in case anyone from work may be watching. I don't want to call in, go on facebook at 10 in the morning and have my boss ask me if I'm feeling better. It's just one of those situations you do not want to find yourself in. And in case anyone from work is reading, yes, I really was sick, evidence of me still having the sniffles. This stuff just wont quit.

I flew up to Whistler for a couple of days to ski. I was glad I went as I hadn't been up there in two years. I was a little timid skiing for the first time in so long, but towards the end of the day I was really starting to get into the hang of it. I have to to make sure it's not another two years before I go skiing again.

Now that it's a new decade people feel compelled to categorize everything into top ten lists. I've been asked a couple of times what the best movies of the past decade are. This is a reasonable question as I love movies. However I cannot conceive of compiling all my favorite movies into a list of a hierarchical structure. It's impossible for me to do. Just as it is impossible for some people to drive like they have a license. It's not going to happen. You can ask me, but there likely won't be an answer. Even asking me my favorite movie of all time, I cannot do. I've seen too many and there are too many I enjoy. Each has wonderful qualities that I cannot ignore or toss to the side.

Christmas was awesome, I got cool stuff, that's all that's worth saying. However I do have to go out and buy a High def TV for my Blu Ray Player now.

Ta for now, back on Monday.